So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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