Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
What a dumb baby whore.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
