end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
you never un-have a 4some
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
