the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
did you just send me my own nude
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
