Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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