I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
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