He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
