she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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