More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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