I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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