So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just want to make out with him forever
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
