it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
