Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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