he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
