wat bout pragnant strippers??
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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