Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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