Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
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He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
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Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
that is very illegal...i love you.
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