I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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