real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
