Dual....:-)
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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