Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
