He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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