I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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