He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize