Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She's the barista slut.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
