Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
