i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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