**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
God I need to hump something, right now.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
