i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
