so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
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i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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