i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
