In the future we'll all be gay
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
