last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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