Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
