I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
