Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
