Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
