i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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