The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
