Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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