I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
