Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.

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  (515): Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did. http://tfl.nu/9hm6
  Replies (8) Good night (3543) Bad night (588)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.

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  (786): i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot. http://tfl.nu/tkrk
  Replies (19) Good night (1131) Bad night (4577)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.

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  (303): Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face. http://tfl.nu/aa6s
  Replies (1) Good night (3180) Bad night (908)
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  (650): View more from California

  Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy

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  (650): Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy http://tfl.nu/o3ew
  Replies (8) Good night (1101) Bad night (2947)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer

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  (519): we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer http://tfl.nu/j198
  Replies (13) Good night (2585) Bad night (889)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome

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  (215): Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome http://tfl.nu/saao
  Replies (3) Good night (2002) Bad night (808)
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  (925): View more from California

  you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed

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  (925): you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed http://tfl.nu/e4j9
  Replies (11) Good night (1094) Bad night (1791)
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  (805): View more from California

  You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.

  (1-805): View more from California

  watch me

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  (805): You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard. (1-805): watch me http://tfl.nu/8h24
  Replies (16) Good night (3876) Bad night (843)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.

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  (781): i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens. http://tfl.nu/yex4
  Replies (6) Good night (1410) Bad night (629)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Sounds like sex on a twister board.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...

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  (541): Sounds like sex on a twister board. (1-541): An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing... http://tfl.nu/ydi6
  Replies (2) Good night (1143) Bad night (431)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things

  (1-443): View more from Maryland

  Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.

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  (443): Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things (1-443): Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit. http://tfl.nu/9byp
  Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (853)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow

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  (787): Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow http://tfl.nu/puo2
  Replies (1) Good night (533) Bad night (400)
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  (585): View more from New York

  yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong

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  (585): yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong http://tfl.nu/twjt
  Replies (4) Good night (744) Bad night (376)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head

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  (734): Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head http://tfl.nu/shcw
  Replies (1) Good night (514) Bad night (131)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her

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  (+44): She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her http://tfl.nu/9grf
  Replies (0) Good night (451) Bad night (152)

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