happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.