Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with