don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.