now i know why i became what i already was.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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