i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
