i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
