I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
