You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
