apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
