But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
