we made out on top of his cat.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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