I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
