And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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