I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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