I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
