Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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