Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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