Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
