This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize