Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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