You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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