And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
