I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
