I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize