We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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